I think that taking a break might be best for you. Sometimes it's really hard to learn from mistakes if you keep them close to your heart. This goes for a lot of things, I know that sometimes I have to remove myself from certain people or situations and step back to really evaluate. Then it's a lot easier to say, "oh...that wasn't good of me in the moment."
I think if you can step back, reassess, remember what you learned from that assessment, THEN reappeal, you'll be a lot closer to being unmuted. Everyone can make mistakes, but not everyone can summon the strength to learn from them. I think that's what you need to do!
It's all about perspective, and right now you're still in the heat of the moment by playing. Take a step back! Have some tea, relax, think about times that you can learn and move forward from.
I say it all the time to people and, as cheesy as it sounds, failure propels us forward into the future. Grow from your weaknesses